Deliver me from myself

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On the 23rd of December, I happened to come across a picture on Instagram after I had said my morning prayers. I had started the morning happy, expectant and overly excited to finally have a holiday break from the chaos of the corporate world. I could sleep in, choose not to shower at 6am in the morning and binge on Netflix and Ketchup flavoured Lay’s. But then, I happened to see this picture that suddenly made my whole day blue.

While I sulked, my sister called me . In true sisterly fashion, I let out all my emotions before she could finish muttering ‘Hello’. In that same sisterly love, she listened and when she could finally get a word in, she painted a picture of the new me with her words. She let me see who I had become and why I had become this person. Her picture of me was brutal but true. It hid nothing, spared no feelings and made certain I saw the chains I had put on myself.

She reminded me of what she believed was holding me back, tying me tightly to distress, shackling me to the past…making me wallow in flashbacks of past disappointment. She was absolutely right! I had incarcerated myself. I was my prisoner.

With this realization brought tears and with tears, humility. I fell to my knees and I asked God to deliver me from myself. Admitting this, saying it out loud, seeking for release from the one who loves the most brought freedom and with freedom, peace.

As we celebrate the birth of Jesus and enjoy this season of love, who have you remanded? You, perhaps? Others, maybe? Today, forgive. Today, love. Today, remember the words of Confucius – “To be wronged is nothing, unless you continue to remember it”.

Xoxo,

Fifi.


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